Good-Bye, My Friend

To anyone who knows me at all, you will understand that this is the hardest blog I have ever had to sit down and type, to date. However, I am one who has always dealt with the good times and the bad by writing my feelings down, no matter how difficult they are.

Lucy, my beloved Rhodesian Ridgeback, was put to sleep. I don’t want to go into any details, so please don’t ask me for them. What I do want to talk about is her life, and what she meant to me and will always mean to me.

Lucy, after Sophie, was my hardest rescue case of all. When I saw her for the first time, she was in a crate in the middle of the Galleria in Dallas during the ASPCA’s bi-annual adopt-a-thon at the mall. At that time, I was working in one of the three towers attached to the Galleria, so in order to go get lunch, I walked past the animals. To some it will seem miraculous that, since I worked for that consulting firm for almost three years, only two of my rescues came from the ASPCA’s adoption drives.

Lucy had, truly, given up on life and all human beings. One can only speculate what had happened in her life to that point, but she had given up eating, drinking, walking, and making any eye-contact with people or other animals. I crawled into the cage with her and tried to get her to respond to me. She did not, she was simply too depressed to bother with anything or anyone.

I called James and informed him that a new dog would be coming home with me that night. It was a Friday and I spent the entire weekend carrying Lucy from point A to point B, scraping peanut butter onto the roof of her mouth because it was the only thing she had to swallow, as there is no way to spit out peanut butter if you are a dog, and forcing water down her throat via 10 cc syringe.

This was the spring of 2001 and eventually she began to trust me and we formed a bond unlike I have ever known with anyone, human or animal. She knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that no matter what had happened in her life to that point, she could trust me. And trust me, she did.

She was also the most intuitive animal I have ever had the pleasure of sharing my life with. During a recent very difficult time in my life, Lucy did not leave my side. She stayed with me 24/7, never even walking away to go to the bathroom; get something to eat; or something to drink. She would wait until I went to do one of those things myself, and then she would take care of her business.

She would stay with me and lay her head on my shoulder, stomach, or leg and just be with me. She didn’t lick me to death as some of my other dogs are obsessed with, she just was with me. She knew I was in a bad place and she just wanted to be with me.

She never liked my other dogs or cats especially, but she always loved me completely and unconditionally. It will be a long time, if ever, before the void she has left behind is bearable. Right now, I am just waiting for the tears to stop falling every time I think of her.

Many people do not understand the love that people can have for their animals. If you are one of those people, I feel sorry for you. They can enrich your life in ways that are just not possible with our relationships with our fellow humans. Animals can provide unconditional love. They never, ever hold a grudge against you. They just want you to love them well and completely. They never harass you about what you did or didn't do for them five minutes ago, much less five years ago. They simply have no capacity for holding a grudge.

Lucy, I loved you, still do, and I hope you knew it. I hope that the time you had with me was able to erase some of the bad things that happened to you before I found you. It seems so selfish, but I wish there was some way to know that I made a difference in what started out such a sad, abused life. I will miss you immensely and forever. Good-bye, Lucy. I will see you in Heaven as surely that is where you are, since if anyone deserves to go to heaven, it is animals.